We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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