you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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