that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
