So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
