I am in a vortex of obligation.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
