So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
