i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
