But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
