I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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