I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And my parents said I crawled through the house
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
