HIV tests are more positive than that guy
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Farmville is her only friend.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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