i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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