Sry I called you an 8
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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