if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
this hospital has no fireball
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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