It's Friday. Sex?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
