I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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