dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
