Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
