this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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