we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
