A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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