Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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