I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
