Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
