Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
