Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
