These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
