okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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