my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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