is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I had to cum in my sink.
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