it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
