Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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