You smell like a Billy Joel song
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
