I'm jealous of your bromance
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
