Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
