You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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