I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
