pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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