I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
