Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
