winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
When are your genitals available?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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