we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
