Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My vagina is officially offended.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
