Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
