Soap is not a condiment
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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