That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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