The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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