I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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