At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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