remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
