Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry T3chD3CK hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Then she called me a home wrecking whore.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...

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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?

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(469): View more from Texas

On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.

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(809): View more from Caribbean Islands

somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying

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(806): View more from Texas

My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?

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