Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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