My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
