i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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