Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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