my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You left your underwear on the fireplace
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
