nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
