thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
