dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
