I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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