Buhtt sex?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His nipple licking is glorious
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